Amy Childers

The Journey West County

Words seem so inappropriate after years of inaction on my part. Growing up in the South, I was covertly indoctrinated to racial bias from a young age. In kindergarten, a fellow student forbade me from bringing my black Barbie doll to school. I went home crushed. I loved that doll. Despite having parents who actively taught my sister and I that everyone is created in God’s image, systemic racial biases were passed along by my teachers and peers. When Michael Brown was murdered, I voiced anger towards those who protested. I remember praying that hearts would be changed and that peace would prevail. I thought I was praying that prayer for others...I was wrong. I was praying it for myself. It was my heart and mind that needed to be changed. I was so incredibly unaware at that time of the privilege I experienced because I am a white woman. I was so blind to what was happening around me. Over the last years, our gracious, merciful, and kind Father has rubbed away many blind spots in my life. I’m truly humbled. How grateful I am that I can repent and move forward. Since Ahmaud Arbery’s murder, I’ve had a new blind spot revealed. While my mind and heart had become tender to the truth about racism in America, I continued to be inactive as an ally. I want to publicly repent of not taking a stand for the black community. Father, forgive me. While I can’t change my past choices, though I wish I could, I can dutifully move forward, committed to continued learning, listening, and being a vocal and active ally to the black community. I will no longer be silent. I will no longer be inactive.